Idiots Can't Catch Colds
by Mystic Dragon
Summary: On a mission to deliver a scroll to a village in the snowy north, Sasuke and Naruto become separated from their teammates. Can they set aside their differences to make it through the storm alive? Not intended to be shounen ai.


I don't own Naruto. If I did, I wouldn't have to worry about earning money to pay off my car and my insurance.

This takes place between the first and second seasons. No spoilers, really. Maybe some slight OOC…I tried to keep them as in-character as I could for the situation I landed them in.

Grammar fixed, and I tried to change as much of the Japanese to English as I could (except for the word "dobe", which means "dead last").

* * *

Idiots Can't Catch Colds

"It's COLD!" Naruto whined as they climbed up a snowy mountain for a mission.

"Of course it is, dobe…it's _winter_." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Alright, alright," Kakashi interrupted. "We need to reach the peak before the sun goes down and the storm hits, so keep climbing."

"Geez…" Sakura moaned as she pulled herself up to the next ledge, though she nearly slipped on the snow and had to slam in the ice pick to keep from falling. "That…was dangerous…"

Naruto shook his head and glanced at his teammates, and briefly wondered how they weren't cold wearing what they always wore. Even he was feeling the wind biting at him, and he was wearing layers! "I think my feet are going numb…"

"Shut up, dobe."

"Bastard…!"

"Naruto, we're all cold, so stop complaining!"

Kakashi sighed and gave up on breaking their arguments apart.

They couldn't tell if the sun had gone down because the storm that was coming hit hard. Snow fell around them along with sleet in such quantities that it was hard to see more than a foot in front of them.

"Try to stay together!" Kakashi shouted over the howling winds.

"E-easier s-said th-than done…" Sakura shivered, and relied heavily on the pick to climb up the icy mountain.

Naruto yelped as he slipped and slid down a bit before he managed to slam his pick into the side of the mountain, breathing hard. He squinted up and frowned. He couldn't even see Sakura's pink outfit from where he was. _How far behind them did I fall? Where are they…?_

"Move…out of the way…dobe."

Naruto blinked and looked below him to see Sasuke hanging onto the mountain. "How come you're so far behind?"

"It's slippery." Sasuke rolled his eyes like it was obvious. "And I was bringing up the rear, remember?"

"Right…but…" Naruto looked up again, slowly moving his pick to the next ledge.

" 'But'?"

"I fell a few feet…that's why I'm back here. I can't see or hear Sakura-chan anymore or Kakashi-sensei." Naruto frowned as he moved his half-numb hand to grab the next ledge.

Sasuke frowned. _That's not good…I didn't think I was that far behind them…dammit. My body feels so numb, it's hard to move…_

The only sounds that could be heard was the wind and the klinking noises of the picks catching in the icy crevices to help pull their owners up.

Naruto squinted and grabbed onto the next ledge, which was covered in snow. Nearly slipping, he brought his pick up and caught it, realizing that it was the top. With a smile, he pulled his tired body up and glanced down to where Sasuke was slowly making his way towards the top as well.

Sasuke winced as the icy wind bit into him again. _I'm so cold…I don't think I can move anymore…I need to keep going, but my body isn't listening…_His numb hand started to slip from his grip on the ledge. Suddenly, another cold hand clasped around his.

"What are you doing! _You're_ the one who always has to save _me_!" Naruto shouted, glad he was able to catch Sasuke before the boy fell, and hauled him up to the top. He gazed critically at his companion.

Sasuke was breathing hard and shivering badly, his face even paler than normal.

Naruto frowned. "Hey…you okay…?" he offered his hand.

Sasuke slapped the hand away. "I'm f-fine!"

Naruto huffed. "I was only try'n to help, jerk!" He turned around and started to walk in the direction he hoped Kakashi and Sakura had gone in. _Just go ahead and die there, then! Serves you right for wearing short sleeves and shorts! And for being a jerk!_ He called back behind him, "I thought you'd get along well with the cold! It fits your personality perfectly!"

"Sh-…shut up…dobe…"

Naruto stopped at how weak Sasuke's voice sounded. With a curse, he turned around and saw that Sasuke couldn't seem to stand up. He sighed, and walked over to his fallen teammate, then threw one of Sasuke's arms around his shoulders and supported the other boy by putting his hand around Sasuke's back, then stood up. He could feel how cold Sasuke's body was, and the shivers that wracked the other boy.

Wordlessly, he started to lead them off, with Sasuke leaning heavily against him.

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut. _Damn it…! I have to rely on __**Naruto**__! But my body's too numb to move…I don't have a choice!_

They were walking for a long time, crunching through shin-deep snow and stumbling from time to time. One stumble sent them both to the ground.

Naruto was breathing hard and feeling the cold through his layers once again. Sasuke was half conscious.

Naruto pushed himself up again and pulled Sasuke up with him. "We hafta be getting close by now…" he frowned when Sasuke didn't respond. "HEY! Say some'n so I know you aren't dead!"

"Don't…shout…I have…a headache…"

Naruto let out a sigh of relief and looked around. He didn't see Sakura or Kakashi, or even the village that they were supposed to come to. But he did see a small hut. Smiling, he pulled Sasuke towards it and knocked on the door.

"Yo! Anyone home!" Naruto shouted. When there was no answer, he huffed and turned the handle. "I'm come'n in!"

It was an old place that was obviously abandoned. It had only one large room with a fireplace in one corner, a bed in another, and something of a sink in another.

Now that they were out of the storm, both boys were shivering even more.

Spying some old furniture, Naruto put Sasuke down and broke the table apart, then threw the wood in the fireplace. "Hey, Sasuke! We can use a flame, here!"

Sasuke trembled as he struggled to make the hand seals, but Naruto stopped him.

"Okay…I'll figure something out myself," Naruto stated seriously, "Performing a jutsu in that condition is dangerous. Even an idiot like _me_ knows that."

Sasuke looked a little surprised, and shivered again. _Damn…I hate the cold…_He blinked when something warm was wrapped around him, and saw that it was Naruto's jacket.

"I have layers," Naruto said while trying to light the wood in the fireplace, "You don't. And besides…as much as the color blue fits you, it doesn't fit you on your lips."

Sasuke felt his teeth chatter as he pulled the jacket around him for warmth. A sudden noise snapped him out of his reverie, and he realized that he had almost fallen asleep or passed out. He looked up tiredly and saw that Naruto had a fire going. He filed it in his mind that Naruto's survival skills were excellent despite his grades at the academy.

"What…were you fooling around in the academy?" Sasuke found himself asking.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked as he prodded the fire with a metal pipe that he had pulled from the sink that didn't work anyway since it was frozen over.

"Survival training," Sasuke stated.

"Ah…" Naruto smiled sadly. "I've had to survive all my life…that part was easy."

"Then how come you were still dead-last?" Sasuke asked, half out of curiosity that he wouldn't admit under torture, and half to keep himself awake.

Naruto shrugged and helped Sasuke closer to the fire, then curled up next to him.

"Wh…what are you doing…?" Sasuke flushed in mortification.

"Keeping both of us warm…what else?" Naruto half glared.

Sasuke looked at the ground and could feel himself starting to warm up already as he coughed a couple of times.

"You call me the idiot, and you went out in the wintertime with a tee-shirt and shorts. Hmph." Naruto yawned.

Sasuke smirked, unable to keep his eyes open any longer. "Shut up…dobe…"

"Hey!" Naruto was startled when Sasuke's head fell onto his shoulder, and he shook the boy a couple times. _Shit…he's still freezing, and now he's passed out! What to do, what to do…?_

He took a couple breaths. _Stay calm. You aren't the idiot they say you are. Focus, Naruto! _Naruto's eyes snapped open as he looked around to assess his situation. _Okay…we're in a cabin in who-knows-where that doesn't have working water. I got a fire going…my clothes are wet, and so are Sasuke's. _He frowned. _I forgot the term, but I know that we can get really sick if we stay in wet clothing. I hope Sasuke doesn't kill me for what I'm about to do…_

Naruto carefully stood up and walked over to the bed, then dusted it off and coughed at the dust that flew up. He frowned when he didn't see anything on the mattress they could use. With a growl of frustration, he checked the closet. The only thing he found was a washcloth with a hole in it and a bunch of moths and spiders.

"Well, fuck…"

Naruto glanced back at Sasuke, who was shivering again despite being near the fire and having the coat on him. _Damn it…_! He put a hand on the mattress and blinked at the material that was used. He pulled out his kunai, he started to cut the covering off the mattress, which revealed the springs underneath.

When he got it off, he grinned at his make-shift blanket. _Okay…that's taken care of. It's not the warmest thing, but it's better than nothing._ After he put the kunai back in his pouch, he stripped down to his boxers and then proceeded to do the same with Sasuke, hoping the boy wouldn't murder him for this.

After that was taken care of, he pulled the 'blanket' around them and kept them by the fire, poking the fireplace with the pole from time to time to keep it going after he placed their wet cloths by the fire to dry them off.

Naruto blinked and shook his head. _Can't fall asleep! Gotta watch over the fire! Gotta keep us warm!_ He felt his eyes sliding shut, and pinched himself awake. _Damn…I gotta stay awake!_ As he pulled Sasuke closer to him so he could cover them more with the 'blanket', he already noticed that Sasuke's harsh breathing had lessened to a more gentle rhythm, though his body was still hot to the touch.

Despite his best efforts, he found his eyes closing and he submitted to sleep.

* * *

The first thing Sasuke noticed when he woke up was that he wasn't that cold anymore. The second thing he noticed was that there was a slight weight on his side and something warm wrapped around him. Opening his eyes, he blearily blinked and saw the fire dying nearby, and Naruto sleeping next to him while a blanket of some sort was wrapped around them and their clothes were drying by the almost dead fire. That explained the weight on him and the warmth…

The third thing Sasuke noticed was that he and Naruto were in nothing but their boxers.

"WHAT THE _FUCK_!" Sasuke shouted.

Naruto stirred and rubbed his eyes, then yawned and glanced over at the incredulous taller boy. He grinned. "You're awake! Good! For a moment there, I thought…"

"What the hell is all this about?" Sasuke gritted his teeth to try to keep his patience. His own shouting wasn't helping his headache.

Naruto frowned. "What do you _think_ happened? And you call _me_ an idiot? Sheesh. Our clothes were all wet, and I remembered that you shouldn't wear wet stuff in the cold or you'll get deathly sick. Plus, you were already running a high fever. So I cut us a makeshift blanket and got out of my clothes, then took yours off you to put them by the fire to dry. They should be dry by now." He took hold of the cold metal pole and poked the fire with it, sparking it to life again.

Sasuke stared at him with his eyes wide. _Naruto…saved my life? I thought he wouldn't know what to do or would panic or something…but he kept both of us alive. I didn't think that…that he…_

"Our clothes are dry." Naruto inspected their things, then put a hand to Sasuke's forehead.

Sasuke shivered at the cold touch…at least, it felt cold to him.

"You still have a fever." Naruto frowned. "But let's get dressed first."

Sasuke nodded as they stood up. He swayed and felt dizzy, but cleared his head long enough to put his clothes back on, then sat back down to place his head in his hand.

"Here."

Sasuke glanced up to see Naruto holding out his coat. "Like I said earlier or yesterday or whatever time it was then…I have layers and you don't. And you're still sick."

Sasuke was about to refuse it, but after a fit of coughing, he decided that he didn't want to die from a stupid cold…even if it meant having Naruto help him. So, he accepted it and put it on. The sleeves were a little short until he rolled the cuffs back down. It even smelled like Naruto. Sasuke opened his eyes and noticed that the strange blanket was around him again and Naruto was heating something up by the fire.

"Don't you pack food on trips?" Naruto huffed. "You've got like…nothing in your pack but some tools and water!" he tossed a water-bottle to Sasuke.

"Kakashi said not to bring food…" Sasuke coughed, then took a drink of the water and shivered a bit. "Don't tell me you disobey him…?"

Naruto just grinned like a fox and finished heating up two containers of ramen. After he poured some hot water in them, he broke apart the chopsticks and handed one pair to Sasuke along with a container of ramen.

"It's not much, but it's food. We're not going to find anything in this weather." Naruto smiled.

Sasuke blushed and accepted the food, since his stomach rumbled. Naruto's survival skills still amazed him.

It was after he finished his food that he finally took stock of the very strange blanket around him, and pointed to it. "What is this?"

"The mattress." Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "See, there wasn't a blanket or anything, and we couldn't just take our clothes off and huddle together by the fire and hope that we don't freeze, cause we probably _would_ freeze. So, I cut off the mattress cover with my kunai."

Sasuke was amazed once again. _He didn't panic…even when I fell unconscious. He even thought of using the mattress as a blanket…I wouldn't have thought of that, though I'd never admit it to him. _Sasuke smirked a bit. _For once, I'm grateful to Naruto's ability to 'think out of the box'. He's not book smart, but he's street smart._

"Well…when you're up to traveling, we should get going. The snowstorm passed, and I saw the town out the window," Naruto commented idly, "It'd be better if we made it there. I bet Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan are waiting there for us. Um…how do you feel?"

Sasuke shook his head, unused to this side of Naruto. "Like shit. But I'm up for getting to town." He just wanted to sleep in a soft, warm bed. He attributed it to his fever.

"Right." Naruto nodded, packing their things up in the bag. He suddenly grinned and chuckled.

"What?"

"You just look funny in orange." Naruto laughed.

Sasuke blinked, then found himself smirking. "Hmph…moron…"

Naruto stuck his tongue out. "Nyaa! Who went and got themselves sick, eh?"

"Not you…because idiots can't catch colds."

Naruto stood there, dumbfounded, at Sasuke's statement.

Sasuke couldn't help it. He laughed. The expression on Naruto's face was just too priceless.

"What's so funny!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Your…expression…" Sasuke chuckled.

Naruto grinned. "Heh. But you know, I have caught colds before, so I'm not an idiot!"

Sasuke chuckled again, then coughed a couple times and shakily stood up. "Let's get out of here."

Naruto shouldered his own pack and Sasuke's pack on his right shoulder, then put Sasuke's right arm around his shoulders and held on with his right hand, keeping the bags in place as well as Sasuke as he looped his left arm around Sasuke's back to support him.

"Ah…Naruto…" Sasuke whispered as they headed out of the cabin.

"Yea?"

"…"

Naruto glanced at Sasuke for a moment as they walked through the snow towards the town.

Sasuke sported a blush, though it was slightly hard to tell because of his fever.

Naruto blinked in confusion.

"Th-thanks." Sasuke looked at the ground. "For…you know."

Naruto grinned, but it wasn't a superior grin or egotistical one. Just a happy grin of someone who just got praised. "Hey…I don't let my teammates die. Besides…"

Sasuke blinked when Naruto trailed off and looked away.

"I'd…be really sad if you died," Naruto whispered, "Even more so if I knew that I had a chance to do something about it and didn't. I know we're rivals, but…can we be friends, too?"

Sasuke stared at the boy, then blushed and looked away. "Hmph…what a stupid question…"

Naruto smiled, since he knew that statement was a 'yes'.

They walked in companionable silence the rest of the way to town.

The two smiled when they saw Kakashi and Sakura waiting by the gates.

"Sasuke-kun! Naruto!" Sakura ran over to them, smiling in joy.

"So, the two of you are still alive, I see." Kakashi joked.

Naruto scowled at him. "Not. Funny."

"Somehow alive." Sasuke managed a smirk while he tried to hold back a cough.

"What's wrong with Sasuke-kun?" Sakura frowned, as she had noticed the way the tall boy leaned on Naruto.

"Just a cold…nothing else." Sasuke looked away.

"Colds are dangerous!" Sakura looked concerned.

Sasuke didn't respond.

"Sasuke…Sakura's right," Kakashi said in his sing-song tone of voice, "The scroll we needed to deliver has been dealt with, so we can just relax in this village for a while until you recover."

"Hmph." Sasuke snorted. In truth, he was glad for that, because he really just wanted to go to sleep right now.

"How long are we gonna stand out here in the snow?" Naruto whined.

Kakashi smiled under his mask. "Good point. Let's go to the inn."

* * *

Come morning, Kakashi and Sakura found that they had to take care of two sick boys.

"You, too, Naruto?" Kakashi sighed at the complaining boy.

Naruto mumbled something incoherent as he buried himself under the warm blankets.

"At least you two share the same room…this will make things a little easier." Their teacher smiled.

Sasuke scowled before he coughed a few times.

The door opened and Sakura came in, carrying a couple trays. "Food and medicine."

Both Sasuke and Naruto were reluctant to take the medicine, though only Naruto complained about how bitter it was.

Once they made sure Naruto and Sasuke took the medicine (and after seeing if they needed anything else), Kakashi and Sakura went down to get some breakfast for themselves.

"Yuck!" Naruto whined at the after-taste of the medicine.

"Shut up, idiot…you're giving me a headache," Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto suddenly blinked, then blinked again, then a slow grin spread across his face.

At first, Sasuke ignored it. But as Naruto continued to grin as they ate their breakfast, and even afterwards, he had to admit that it was starting to creep him out.

"What's with the stupid grin?" Sasuke finally gave into curiosity and annoyance.

"You called me an idiot." Naruto continued to grin as he spoke cheerfully, "But I can't be an idiot!"

Sasuke blinked. "What…?"

"You said it yourself," Naruto continued, his eyes flashing in amusement, "Idiots can't catch colds."

Sasuke stared at him incredulously.

"But I got sick, too!" Naruto smirked. "So that means I'm not an idiot!"

Sasuke continued to stare at him, before he looked away to hide a smile. "Dobe. It's just a saying."

Naruto stuck his tongue out at Sasuke.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

But even so, when Sakura and Kakashi came back up to check on them, both boys had smiles on their faces even though they were asleep.

"Um…?" Sakura blinked as she looked from Naruto to Sasuke. Naruto smiling she could understand, but she had never seen Sasuke smile before.

Kakashi looked on in mild interest, before he shrugged and pulled out his book as he headed out of the room. "Some things are better left unsaid and unknown."

"Y-yea…" Sakura nodded, and glanced once more at the two smiling, sleeping boys before she left and closed the door behind her.

"But you know…" Kakashi suddenly grinned as they headed down the hallway.

"Eh?" Sakura blinked.

"We can't call Naruto an 'idiot' anymore." Kakashi's visible eye twinkled with silent laughter.

Sakura blinked again. "What?"

"You know what they say…" Kakashi was still grinning under his mask, his visible eye now shaped like an upside-down 'u' in his amusement. "Idiots can't catch colds."

**THE END**


End file.
